A recent article from CNN speaks to hand held screen time and speech delays. Many of us are guilty of using iPads and iPhones as distractors for children. Many of us use them as a distractor for ourselves. How many times have you been out at a restaurant, having a lovely meal, and your spouse (or you) spend a significant amount of time on your phone? Guilty as charged.
Now it seems that the devices are causing harm to young children in the form of speech delays. A new study found “that the more time children between the ages of six months and two years spent using handheld screens such as smartphones, tablets and electronic games, the more likely they were to experience speech delays.” This is the first study of its kind.
Parents may be versed in screen time as it pertains to computers, video games, and television. It is of note that now handheld devices are included in this group for screen time. It seems obvious, but nevertheless, is worth contemplating. It may be hard to quantify handheld device screen time because it has become such a reflexive response to use them.
Perhaps we all could learn from this study and track how much time is spent on our devices. It could be very eye opening and perhaps a bit dismaying.
By now, everyone has heard about the shooting of Philando Castile on July 6, 2016, by a police officer in St. Paul. By now, everyone knows the outcome of the trial: Officer Yanez was acquitted of all charges on June 16, 2017. He was also fired the same day of the acquittal.
But this blog post isn’t about that. It is about a mother who witnessed and video taped the event. It is about the child who was in the back seat of the car. It is about the child who was silent during the entire incident. It about a child, Dae’Anna, who was in survival mode at the age of four.
Diamond Reynold’s, Dae’Anna’s mother, said that she had taught her daughter to remain calm. In a September 10, 2016 article in the Washington Post, Eli Saslow wrote, “Diamond had taught her daughter to react that way. They had been practicing what Diamond called “survival skills” since before her daughter turned 2. Duck at the sound of gunfire. Make yourself small whenever you feel threatened. Never touch guns or needles. The more scared you are, the less noise you should make. These were some of the lessons Diamond had passed along from one generation to the next, and her daughter had learned them well.”
When I was 4, in 1968, the lessons being taught to me were something akin to: say please and thank you, don’t talk to strangers, wash your hands, be nice to your friends, respect your elders. The biggest risk that I remember was possible razor blades in apples at Halloween. There was no talk of ducking to the sound of gunfire and making yourself small. There was no talk about guns or needles.
No one should have to endure what DaeAnna and her mother, Diamond, did on that day in July. No one should witness a loved one being shot and killed, especially a child. I wonder what the long term effects of witnessing such a brutal shooting will have on DaeAnna? Only time will tell.
It’s all too common to associate mass shooters with the disenfranchised individual or a terroristic act. While these are true associations, another association is that shooters have a history of aggression and violence toward women. A Washington Post article written by Nancy Leong about the shooting of Republicans while they practiced baseball discusses this issue and points out a number of mass shooters that had a history of violence against women. Ms. Leong analyzes mass shootings from 2009-2016 and, “concluded that at least 54 percent of mass shootings — or 85 out of 156 incidents — involved a current or former intimate partner or family member as a victim. Other research has found that those who abuse their domestic partners are also more likely to abuse children and animals, and that 68 percent of men in a sample of batterers exhibited other “problem behaviors,” such as fights, previous arrests or drunken driving.”
Domestic violence is not taken seriously. It is not seen as a predictor of future violent behavior. Leong writes, “A mass shooting tends to trigger passionate arguments about gun control and mental health services; discussion of how to respond to domestic violence often doesn’t even come up.”
Until the issue of domestic violence is discussed openly and honestly without stigmatization, positive changes cannot be expected to occur.
There have been many myths regarding fatherhood throughout time. In an Washington Post article written by Paul Raeburn, he speaks about a Supreme Court decision that , “struck down a law that treated unwed mothers and fathers differently when granting citizenship to their children born outside the United States — the requirements for fathers were stiffer. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, authoring a majority opinion joined by five other justices, wrote that the law was based on gender stereotypes that violated the notion of equal protection. The law implied “that unwed fathers care little about, indeed are strangers to, their children.”
In light of this Supreme Court decision, Raeburn writes about the myths of fatherhood that seem to endure. Until we can get past the myths, fathers will never gain ground on being treated as equals when it comes to parenting.